Friday, May 7, 2010

Doctor Visit

I went to my doctor's appointment this morning with a surly attitude. Didn't realize how surly until the receptionist handed me about 10 pages of documents she wanted me to fill out. All legal and billing documents and patient information. Ticked me off to no end because I've been a patient there for five years and you would think by now that they would have all of my relevant info, no? I had to remind myself to breathe because the ugly was baring its fangs.

Anyway, thanks to that little snafu, my bad attitude and my absolutely horrific way of eating the last few months, my blood pressure was higher than it has ever been: 153/90. I'm usually about 120/70-80. So, that wasn't a great way to start off the appointment. Plus, my weight was 339. Niiiiice.

So, I wasn't thrilled about anything. I didn't want to hear from the doctor that I should be doing a whole bunch of things differently. What I do is HARD. I wanted that acknowledged. But in all reality what I don't do and what I do when I don't care is really hard on my body.

My weight is up. My gallbladder and liver are both tender. My temperature is down to 97.3 degrees (a sign of metabolic slow down and thyroid issues). My attitude/emotions are on a roller coaster. My cycle is still anovulatory. And my energy is low, low, low.

It doesn't help that I'm stressed out of my mind by school. That I keep wondering if yet again am I going to FAIL?

The doc and I talked about the HCG diet and Dr. Mark Hyman's UltraSimple Diet too. She suggested I look them both over. Which I will do. When I can gather the energy to do more than sit at my computer at work or sit in my chair at home. I spend a lot of time just sitting.

I had big plans. I thought about getting a commuter bike and riding my bike to work each day. My gym membership is about to run out. I wish I could talk yoga classes. I so, so, so want to try Pilates too. Are all of those thoughts just wisps of smoke?

All-in-all though, I came away from this doctor's visit feeling hopeful--a feeling I didn't expect. I have two new books to read and a desire to do life better. That's always good in my book.

Maybe, just maybe, someday I will get this all figured out.

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