Saturday, September 4, 2010

Membership in the Club

I read this article the other day on CNN and thought: "My words exactly." I couldn't describe any better the feelings I have experienced the last five years (since my last major weight loss) when it comes to my weight. I know this all tends to victimhood and outrage too. I know that that will get me nowhere either. I guess sometimes I just really, really, really want to be understood. I've always felt like a thin girl in a fat body. This body is foreign, unwieldy and NOT mine. And I get reminded rather often that no matter how I feel on the inside, much of my experience here deals with how I look on the outside. I've known about the club's existence for years but I've rarely "qualified."

But when I lost weight, I was rewarded with membership in a club I never knew existed, where the benefits included better treatment, greater professional success and, above all, a new status as qualified participant in the social world including romantic relationships.
I've railed against the existence of the club for a long time. It doesn't really make me feel better. It just hurts. But to see in print the words that I have so often thought makes me think that other people have experienced the same kind of hurt. We don't like getting to:

Reap the benefits of a society set up to punish fat people for the unforgivable crime of eating too much.


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