I Got Glutenized or Allergerized or Whatever You Call It

I'm still learning about eating on this allergy-free diet. I've certainly gotten much better over the last few months figuring out what I can and can't eat. As I've done this and been more and more careful about what I'm ingesting, I've started to feel better and better. 

When I was on my trip a few weeks ago, we bought some chicken apple sausages at Costco that seemed like they might be okay, so I'm tried them out the next day when I made them for breakfast. Because there were five of us though I didn't get much of the sausages. I remember thinking that they tasted really good and that they seemed to make me immediately start craving more. 

I didn't remember that little piece of information clearly this week when I stopped by the grocery store and saw some chicken apple sausages. I just remembered that they had tasted good. So, I read the ingredients carefully and it looked like they were a whole, clean food so I bought two. Yesterday I cooked them both and ate one for breakfast and one for lunch. 

Bad idea. Very, very, very bad idea. 

My stomach felt rumbly and funny all day long. Immediately after eating the first one in the morning I started having some serious cravings. When the cravings hit me so quickly, my memory of eating this kind of sausage on my trip came back. Was an immediate and intense craving a sign that I might be allergic to a food? 

Well, I ate the other one for lunch because it was there and cooked and it wasn't going to hurt me, right? Yeah, wrong. I should have listened to my body earlier. I ate the one for lunch and my stomach continued rumbling the rest of the afternoon. I also suddenly started thinking "who cares what I eat?" and thinking I could blow off this way of eating and dive into a vat of M&Ms. 

Also, despite having a pretty good day on my drive home from work I was CRANKY. Cranky and grouchy and pessimistic. Was this a sign I was reacting to a food or was I just having a bad day? How am I supposed to separate the two? I can't attribute every bad day I have to eating something wrong. So, how am I supposed to tell the difference? 

All that came to mind was that nothing really wrong had happened that day and I would normally categorize it as a pleasant day except that I seemed to be irritated very easily and wanted to punch people in the face for simply existing. Yeah, that attitude seemed a little out of place for the circumstances. 

Then this morning my eyes have been itchy, I'm swollen from retaining water and I still haven't lost my nasty little attitude. So, I'm concluding from the various data presented to me that I am allergic to something from that chicken apple sausage. Would you agree? 

My reaction includes:

• Immediate cravings that are rather intense
• Stomach rumbly and achy
• Serious cranky attitude
• Eyes itchy, and plugged up nose

It seems I am becoming a bit more sensitive to how I react to food now that I am not eating food I am allergic to every day. And this reaction reminds me exactly why I don't like to feel this way. It STINKS. 

Nia Vardalos Loses 40 lbs. When She Stops Eating Cheese

I read this article the other day with Nia Vardalos where she talks about losing weight. She has recently lost 40 pounds and said that eliminating cheese from her diet changed her life. 

I wonder if Ms. Vardalos might possibly be allergic to said food item? 

She just might. She acknowledged that she did several other things as well to lose the weight but  that eliminating cheese was the thing that turned it all around for her. That's my kind of turn around. 

That's how I've felt about eliminating wheat, dairy and sugar from my food life. It seems like things are turning around as a result. Meaning my life feels and seems 180 degrees different than it did just a few months ago. I LOVE IT! I love it, I love it, I love it. Can this be my life forever? This place where I feel good most of the time instead of feeling terrible most of the time? I like feeling good. I really, really like it. 

And if staying away from those food substances is going to make me feel this much better this much of the time? Well, let's just say that seems like a small price to pay for joy. 

How Do I Feel After Three Months on Allergy-Free Diet?

Dr. Mark Hyman had a great entry on his UltraWellness blog from this past January that I have re-read several times and I've also sent to several friends and family members. Dr. Hyman is talking about healing our minds and our bodies in his post and I find so much of what he says to ring true for me. 

One of the biggest sticking points for me in staying away from certain foods is recognizing if those foods have actually affected me negatively. I mean that one of the troubles I've always had with food is that I generally felt a low-grade, constant kind of miserable. I was tired and moody and easily stressed and often in a brain fog. Life did not seem bright. I did not feel active or alert. I've always assumed that if I lost weight, those feelings would dissipate and I would become bright and happy and active. Yet, going off these foods the last few months has taught me that I can feel bright and happy and active even now at 300 pounds because I'm fueling my body properly. It amazes me right now how alert and attentive my brain has been the last several weeks. How much I'm able to process and do. How much more I actually want to do. 

That is why I loved the list of side effects that Dr. Hyman lists in this entry. 

• Feel more alert and focused
  
• Have more stable moods
  
• Enjoy a better memory
  
• Have more energy
  
• Enjoy the kind of restful sleep that will help you wake up more refreshed and able to face your day
  
• Improve your digestion
  
• Decrease chronic sinus problems
  
• Experience pain-free joints
  
• Eliminate headaches
  

And there are wonderful side effects. You will lose weight automatically and you may even see your sex drive improve. 

Let me just tell you what my experience has been with each of these items since I went off dairy, wheat, sugar, oats, corn as well as all food additives like high-fructose corn syrup, MSG, and any processed or packaged food. 

• Feel more alert and focused: Yes, I have felt much more alert and focused. Previous to this, especially in the last year, I've felt an intense amount of brain fog. I've had trouble making decisions and moving forward because I could not seem to sort through everything that was in my head. 
  
• Have more stable moods: Can I just say "Yes!" to this one? It is amazing to not have massive mood swings each day. To feel like I can count on myself. To be on top of things. I love it. I've had mood swings for years and to NOT have mood swings now makes me realize, "Oh, you can really live life like this?" Amazing.  
  
• Enjoy a better memory: Yes. No more brain fog. No more indecision. Access to all of my faculties. This is lovely. 
  
• Have more energy: In the past, my body would finally seem to wake up around 3 or 4PM each day. Recently, I've been sleeping less and waking up ready to dive into the day ahead with energy to spare it seems. I can't tell you if I have ever felt that way in my life. Most of my life has been spent wishing I could sleep the day away and barely able to drag myself out the door at any time of day. It was such a struggle just to do the basics each day. I call it "survival mode" where the fact that I'm breathing each day is accomplishment enough. Any thing else is simply extraneous action. This begins to cause a problem when things like eating, shopping, cleaning your house, going to work and paying bills seem like extras in life. These are the some of the stuff of life and not doing them each day can become extremely detrimental. My whole life would grind to a halt when I was in survival mode. Everything beyond breathing took enormous amounts of effort. ENORMOUS. I remember sitting in my chair one day overwhelmed with decisions that needed to be made and work that needed to be done and life that needed to be lived. In that moment, I felt that I could not do one more thing. I simply did not have the energy. All I wanted was for my life to be put on hold for a long, long time so I could try to recapture my energy. Even now, it is amazing to me that I have the energy to make decisions, clean my house, pay my bills and go to work. It feels miraculous that I can do those things consistently. 
  
• Enjoy the kind of restful sleep that will help you wake up more refreshed and able to face your day: Most of my life, I've wished that I could sleep 10 to 12 hours a day. If I could sleep that much then I felt halfway human. Do you realize how much 2 to 4 hours of extra sleep a day cuts in to your productivity? And if your productivity is hampered by brain fog, low energy and mood swings? Sometimes now just because I feel better I want to pat myself on the back for even surviving the last several years. No wonder I was so miserable! No wonder. 
  
• Improve your digestion: Yes. Yes. Yes. My stomach doesn't hurt. I don't feel lethargic and tired after eating. I actually feel clean inside--not bloated or heavy or anything. I love that feeling. 
  
• Decrease chronic sinus problems: I have had this little routine for years where every morning when I wake up it would take me a couple of hours to blow my nose and clear our my throat. I never really recognized before that this had to do with allergies. I love not having to do that routine each day. 
  
• Experience pain-free joints: Just generally my body doesn't ache like it used to. I'm not hurting. I'm not in pain. My body feels alive and brimming with energy. I want to go and do and move and see and experience. I love that feeling. 
  
• Eliminate headaches: I've never had a lot of headaches in my life, but I just enjoy feeling free of illness and full of vigor. I like that my head feels clear and good. I like that I'm not ingesting anything chemical or toxic that could give me headaches. 
• You will lose weight automatically: I'm still working on the weight loss thing but it suddenly doesn't feel so tremendous and overwhelming. Because I feel good and my body feels good, I imagine that as I keep eating and exercising the weight will come off. I'm not hungry all the time. I'm not thinking about food constantly. I really like food and I like cooking and I like sharing and feasting with others. It is just different. It is not an obsession. It doesn't hound me. It feels so much more balanced and healthy. Also, I've lost my stomach first as I've ben losing weight this time. That has been interesting. Always before it seemed like my stomach was the last to go and I seemed kind of stuffed. Now even at 300 pounds, I feel so much more bendable and flexible around my stomach because I don't feel like things are compacted inside me. It seems like there is room for everything to move around. 
• You may even see your sex drive improve: I call this one the attraction factor. This one has been the one that I least expected. I used to wonder if I was possibly asexual or something because even though I thought boys were cute or fun, most of the time, I don't notice them that way. Now it is like some light has been turned on in my brain. I'm noticing colors and smells and clothing and eyes. I'm interested in who is interesting. I'm aware. I really think that is the biggest thing. I'm just aware. And I'm really interested to see other people's reactions and hear their thoughts and interact. I'm really interested in interacting. It like some major light has been turned on in my brain. Like, why couldn't I have experienced this in puberty? 

Yes, let's just say that eating fresh, whole foods and staying away from all the junk and the food allergies has wrought this incredible change in my energy level and my brain. I LOVE IT. 

The Ups and The Downs

I just couldn't take it tonight. After trying to eat only those foods that I'm not allergic to and talking to other people about what I was doing and thinking about how exciting this whole process is, I caved tonight and had a little bingeing party. Or a big one.

Okay, I'm taking a deep breath. And another one. Just because I binge doesn't mean I fail. I can do this.

So, my bingeing tonight was dark chocolate Lindt balls, milk chocolate Lindt balls, Hostess cupcakes, Twinkies, and a Twix candy bar for good measure. Oh, and a small can of Sprite.

It was like I wanted to reassure myself that no matter what, I can eat what I want and I don't beat myself up about it. Of course, none of that food was the best choice. Of course, I would have been better off eating something else. Of course.

But I'm not a bad person because I ate that food. A sick person, yes (and I mean sick in the body, not in the head people). It wasn't a moral choice I made when I ate that food. It was just a choice.
And I honored the thing that I tell myself repeatedly: "You can have that food if you want it."

And tonight I really wanted it.

Not in a craving-it-like-butter way but more in a don't-you-dare-deprive-me-I've-been-deprived-my-entire-life kind of way. I just can't bear sometimes to think I can't ever eat some foods again in my life. So, I reassure myself that I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want and then I proceed to do my best to make that food healthy, whole, nourishing, fresh and now, allergy-free.

It is a continual process for me. Continual. And some days turn out better than others. And some don't turn out at all. But I'm making steps, however miniscule or repetitive, and it reminds me day after day after day that I am my own best advocate and I'm doing all of this to feel better and not to punish myself.

I'm a good girl, I am. And this journey just gets that much more interesting every day.

Allergy Testing

I had an IgG allergy test done today. My doctor (who I love and am so happy I found) has wanted me to be tested for a few months. Finally today, I had it done.

I'm allergic to several food items. Some I suspected I was allergic to and others I hoped I wasn't allergic to. The only real surprise? It says I'm allergic to grapefruit and lemons--both of which I LOVE and would never have suspected.

So here is the final list:

Blue dye
Red dye
Preservative mix (think nearly any preservative)
MSG
All cheeses
All milk
All soy
Corn
Oats
Wheat
Peanuts
Corn syrup
Fructose
Sugar-cane
Sugar-beet
Nutrasweet

So, it would be better for me to stay away from all bread products, cereals, sugars, corn syrup, artifical sugars, preservatives, peanut butter, soy milk, all milk products, oats and corn.

Can you just say, "Stay away from any packaged foods?" I think that would be a lot easier.

My doctor also wants me to also stay away from all rice and potato food items as well because of insulin reactions to those foods. In reality, it might be easier to list what I can eat rather than what I cannot eat.

I can eat:

chicken
turkey
other lean meats
all fish
every vegetable
low-glycemic fruits
good fats--olive oil, avocadoes
raw nuts and seeds

It means that when I go to my parents' house I can't grab string cheese, peanut butter, a glass of milk, a piece of cake, a cracker, a bowl of cereal. or a cookie.

It means I really should stay away from most fast food places and a lot of restaurants because MSG and preservatives are such a giant part of the menu at those places.

It means that one of the many reasons I did well on the 6WBMO plan was because I was eating food that was low-sodium, low-glycemic, and low-preservative. Fresh, whole foods seem to be a big part of this.

It means that I really shouldn't be eating those foods that for a long time I've suspected were not the best for me: wheat, corn, milk, soy.

It means that despite all I've learned about food and its effects on my body, there is still so much I can learn.

And for today, it means that I'm going home to grill some chicken and steam some vegetables and go for a walk.

No preservatives, MSG, milk, soy, sugar, wheat, oats or corn allowed.