Today I starved. It has been a busy week with long nights and I've been trying not only to do this allergy-free diet but also to exercise every day. And I'm in school. And work has been very stressful. So every area of my life this week was calling out for attention. Financially it was hard as well. I finally got the money I needed in the middle of the week, but by then I was deep in the depths of my week and didn't have time to do menu planning or serious grocery shopping. I existed throughout the week eating smidgens of things here and there but without getting out the cutting board and firing up the oven and really getting some good food going in my life.
It all came to a head this morning. I left the house late without packing any food--a sure sign of things going wrong for me that day. Whenever this happens, I usually starve and starve and starve all day long until I hit the 3PM bewitching hour when the only thing I can think about is: FOOD. Glorious, beautiful food. And all I do is think about food until I get some. Usually this means the vending machines, a fast food run, or the a jaunt over to the bookstore. Anything to get my blood sugar up and to get me feeling better. Or at least less hungry.
Today, I simply had to go home and make some food. I couldn't run to a fast food place. There was nothing that I could pick up really quickly to feed myself. I had to go home and make food. And it took time. And I was so hungry. But if I'm ever going to truly do this allergy-free thing, I have to take care of my body and do the things it keeps asking me to do. So, I'm doing those things.
I guess part of this changing process is learning not only that starvation is detrimental to me emotionally and physically, but also that it takes time to feed yourself. Whether you wait until 3PM to acknowledge that fact or not.
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