Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Body Report: Recent Changes

The weight loss is going much, much slower than I expected. I chalk this up to three things:

1. Not eating regularly--especially waiting to eat breakfast and then postponing lunch and finally consuming most of my calories after work.
2. Lack of exercise: I do now have a gym membership but my stress level has been pretty high for a while and I have not been getting to the gym regularly. Or even walking outside. Or doing Pilates or yoga in my house. The exercise thing has REALLY got to change. 
3. My stress level: With school and work and many issues that those have brought up, I've been feeling overwhelmed. And I don't do overwhelmed really well. My coping mechanism is then to avoid, avoid, avoid. So, I'm not doing so well with handling the stress of it all. 

So, I have not lost any weight in the last few weeks. And now it is the week before my period (sorry if that is TMI) and I often hold on to or gain weight the week before it and then the week after I suddenly drop a bunch of weight. Seriously, that is the week that my weight loss for the month usually comes in. 

Yet despite the slow weight loss, I know things are changing in the body department. 

Pants are looser: I put on a pair of pants the other day and they were loose and starting to fall off my hips. I bought these pants just a couple of months ago and they were tight when I bought them. It was only a month or so ago that they started to feel really comfortable. Well, they have suddenly passed comfortable and they are now loose. Loose enough that if I put my hands in my pockets I can pull them down off my hips if I'm not careful. 

The clothes department in general needs a lot of help. I'm wearing clothes most days that are far too big for me and I feel uncomfortable in most of my wardrobe because of that. I'm always having to hike up something here or adjust something there because they don't fit properly. I've taken to safety pinning a few of my skirts so I can get a little more play out of them. And I have gone shopping a couple of times but I can't seem to find a lot of clothes at the moment. I will have to keep going though because really it isn't fun to get dressed in the morning when you feel uncomfortable at the starting gate. 

Waist measurement changes: I lost another inch on my waist. I can usually sense this when I wake up in the morning. This morning was one of those mornings. I could just tell that things were different so I pulled out the measuring tape and what would you know? Another inch. That feels good.

Standing, lifting, turning, moving: I was in traffic the other and at one point I had to turn to look behind me at a rather awkward angle as I was merging into traffic and I turned my head and body back to look and I felt strong and flexible. I suddenly realized that I move with so much more ease than I did a few months ago. Gaining and losing weight is often a process of minutia. When you gain weight your body slowly loses different kinds of movements and degrees of movement. You don't notice a whole lot until you suddenly can't do something like you used to. You adapt and adjust to the lack of movement or the new force and effort it takes to do something you once did with ease. 

It is the same with losing weight. You are constantly accessing a new normal when it comes to movement and just like going up the scale you forget rather quickly what it was like "before" as your body quickly adapts to its increased range of motion and movement. I do things now like bend over when I'm sitting in a chair and pick something up off the ground. That used to never happen. If I dropped something on the ground it had to stay there until I had the energy to stand up and bend over and pick it up. 

Now, I squat down to look at prices of food on the bottom shelf at the grocery store. I pick up and lift things with more ease. I climb stairs without getting winded. I actually climb stairs instead of taking the elevator. 

Standing is also different. When I'm heavy, I'm always noticing my feet. They are a constant source of pain. Every step makes you feel like you want to sit down. Standing for long periods of time is out of the question. Yet, now I'm standing for longer and longer periods of time and not noticing my feet. I'm walking further and further. I'm simply more active. 

So, yes, the body is changing. 

The only other thing to mention on the body report is what I've been moaning about on here for a few weeks. HUNGER. I am hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry on a nearly constant basis lately. I'm also not doing a great job of cooking interesting and exciting meals. So, I know the two are combined. I'm existing on a lot of salmon, turkey burgers, roasted veggies, apples, almonds and coconut milk smoothies. The food has got to get interesting again. 

I'm sure part of my hunger issue comes from my heightened stress level and how poorly I've been handling it. I have no doubt that plays a role in my sometimes out of control hunger. And also the fact that I'm not feeding myself regularly because of my stress level. It is all combining into a symphony of nonstop hunger pangs. 

Yet besides the hunger and the slow weight loss, I still feel like things are progressing and moving right along. Now, if I can just get them to move along a little bit faster. 

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