Saturday, August 9, 2008

Craving: Hot Donuts

Ate two donuts from Krispy Kreme tonight. Contemplating doing my allergy thing for two months and worrying about feeling deprived. One of my new mottos has been to indulge all cravings, albeit with decorum. And tonight, I craved donuts. 

What makes hot donuts good? They taste like spun hot sugar. That is their sole attraction, indeed, a rather enticing one. The cold, chocolate iced donut I had tasted more like sugar overload. 

I guess I felt a bit detached last night. A bit more observational and these donuts did not seem to overwhelmingly affect me. But that could just be arrogance. They affect me. But last night they were not the ANSWER to deep, emotional longing. 

I've used food so much to self-medicate my emotions that sometimes I wonder if I have any idea of how to operate emotionally outside the boundaries of food indulgence. It feels a bit like a revelation when I can. 

I will also note that when I am hormonally better balanced, deeply emotionally satisfied by a visit from my very dear friend, and well-nourished for several days, that this kind of food does not need to answer any deep needs inside of me. (Let's be honest, this food never answers deep things inside of me, but it surely distracts me easily from those matters.)

The donuts did not live up to any expectations. 

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